just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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