i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
