i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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