I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
