Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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