Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
