he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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