Well apparently he's into motor boating.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
