She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
