I'm lost and stupid without you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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