So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
