i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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