I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
