Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
