his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
