Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
