Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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