You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
