You can't motorboat a personality
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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