Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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