so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
handjob tips. give me some.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
