i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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