Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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