When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
