Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
