The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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