Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
