Its about making memories worth repressing
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
