I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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