So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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