absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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