I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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