do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize