**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
