Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
