I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
