but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
