I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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