well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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