just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
