the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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