So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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