How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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