tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
