you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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