A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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