Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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