I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
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We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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