you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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