so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So. Much. Porn.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
