if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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