oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
