I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize