were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
