Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
