haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
