Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
