I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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