So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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