i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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