The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
