someone get that fucking seahorse.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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